With International Women’s Day almost upon us, I thought, what better time to recognise the importance of female friendships and the amazing benefits? I am lucky to have incredible women in my life (beyond my family) — friends who have been there through the highs, the lows and now midlife interrupted!
These female friendships aren’t just about socialising or having fun – although fun, humour and laughter play a big part, especially when when times are particularly tough. They are so much more. For me they’re an important part of my emotional well-being, offering kindness, support and perspective (alongside the fun, of course!). As we get older, life seems to offer a few more surprises — illnesses crop up, careers take unexpected turns, and let’s not even start on what’s happening to our hormones (thanks perimenopause – friendship chats all seem to lead back to this right now haha). The things we once brushed off suddenly feel a lot bigger and harder to manage, at least for me. And that’s where our friends come in.
This became especially clear when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Finding Out Who My Friends Really Were
People often say, “You’ll find out who your real friends are in tough times.” I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
Would some people disappear?
Would life’s everyday demands—work, family, midlife madness—make it hard for them to be there?
Would distant friends become even more distant?
In reality, I didn’t lose friends—I just gained an even greater appreciation. I was able to connect with more of them, and spend a whole lot more time with them too. My friends showed up in so many different ways:
✔️ Listening to my worries, from the small to the terrifying
✔️ Cooking meals, driving me to appointments and helping with day-to-day life
✔️ Surprising me with little gifts, cards, and moments of kindness
✔️ Offering advice and being a source of strength
✔️ Advocating for me and sharing their knowledge and experiences with me
And surprisingly, my social circle even expanded. Longtime friends introduced me to women who had been through something similar. And as I navigated through breast cancer, I joined groups and communities, meeting yet more incredible women. Some of these connections turned into instant friendships—proof that the right people often come into your life just when you need them most.
While I wouldn’t have chosen cancer as a way to test friendships or grow my friendship group, it made me realise even more how much these relationships matter. I know people say quality over quantity, but I think you can have both. I definitely do.
Why Friendships Matter More Than We Think
Research backs up just how important these relationships are to our wellbeing. I’m sure as you read this and reflect on the joy of spending time with friends and the support they give —throughout life, not just in midlife—these things will resonate:
- Lower stress levels: Spending time with female friends reduces cortisol (the stress hormone) and increases serotonin, which helps with mood and well-being.
- Emotional support: Women tend to turn to each other in stressful situations, something known as the “Tend and Befriend” response.
- Increased resilience: Having a strong support system makes it easier to get through tough times and bounce back from setbacks.
- Better health outcomes: Studies show that women with solid social connections tend to live longer, healthier lives. In fact, research on breast cancer patients found that those with strong friendships had better survival rates
So here’s to the women who have walked with me through life, who show up, speak honestly, and make my life a little easier and more fun – THANK YOU.
If you’ve experienced the power of female friendship too, I’d love to hear your story. Share in the comments—let’s celebrate the ways women support each other, big and small.
Some enjoyable books about friendship:
