Scrolling through Instagram (yes, again), I came across a quote that stopped me in my tracks:
“I wish I’d allowed myself to be happier.”
Sadness hit. Was it regret? A final reflection? It made me pause and wonder: what actually gets in the way of happiness—and can we make happiness happen?
What Even Is Happiness?
Happiness is tricky to define because it’s different for everyone. I’m not even sure there is a collectively defined view. For some, it’s joy. For others, it’s peace, purpose, or just the feeling of being okay – even if life isn’t perfect. Sometimes it’s big: a new job, an exciting goal. But often it’s in the small stuff: a hot chocolate, laughing with a friend, not having to cook dinner or take the bins out.
My Very Unscientific Happiness Study
Over the last few days, I’ve been casually asking friends and family:
“What makes you happy?”
The most common answer? Spending time with loved ones.
Simple human connection.
When I took a moment to reflect on what makes me happy, my list was a bit longer. Like the people in my study, top of my list was spending time with people I love – my family and friends (this is the best thing about having my midlife interrupted, more time to spend with loved ones). But I realised that there were so many other things that make me happy:
🧶 Knitting – There’s something so calming and satisfying about being creative. I find knitting really mindful. I’m told mindfulness can equal happiness.
🏃♀️ Running – Especially outdoors. Moving my body and clearing my mind all whilst running by the sea makes me so happy.
💃 Dancing – Often like nobody’s watching (and they really shouldn’t be).
🧑🤝🧑 Helping others – Whether it’s volunteering or just supporting a friend or even with the type of work I do – I just get pleasure out of helping people. And kindness is so powerful.
🎯 Achieving goals – Big or small. I just love the sense of achievement that I’ve made something happen.
Can We Actually Make Happiness Happen?
I think we can.
In fact, I even stumbled across Happiness Happens Day (yes, that’s a real event). It’s celebrated every 8th August and has been for the last 25 years!! It was created by the delightfully named Secret Society of Happy People. Their whole philosophy?
‘The day encourages happiness all day. Recognize every moment of glee, joy, delight, and pleasure. Don’t let it pass. Most importantly, a flicker of a giggle should be given its due, and should it blossom into full-blown happiness, don’t be surprised. It happens!’
I love that.
Here are 4 things I’m doing to create happiness in my life, they might be useful for you too:
- Daily gratitude and reflection practice: I do this every day, I list 5 things that I’m grateful for (ranging from family and friends to the morning sunshine). I also reflect on what has gone well each day.
- I get some Vitamin S – and I don’t mean social media, I love being sociable. Having good relationships and social connections can help us live longer and increase happiness. Even smiling at or starting a conversation with a stranger can boost happiness.
- Being physically active – I fit some form of exercise into everyday. Running, walking, dancing, strength training and, when the weather is good, sea swimming.
- Having a sense of purpose – I set myself goals most days and months, plus I volunteer and support Menopause and Cancer which gives me a sense of purpose and fulfilment. Purpose can come in many forms – through a job, through volunteering, through looking after family or loved ones.
Happiness is not about being relentlessly positive. Its just being aware of the good stuff, our own good stuff, and making a little more room for it.
What one thing will you do today to create some happiness?
