Going Grey

“I’ll Never Go Grey” – Or So I Thought!

You know that saying, ‘never say never’?  I said I would never EVER have grey hair. I thought I would continue to dye it, forever.  I can remember being quite firm about this in various discussions.

The reason for this is (or should say was), I thought grey looked fairly rubbish on curly hair – quite-granny like. And dull.  

The ‘Problem’ with Grey

As women we’ve become used to trying stay looking young and almost accept that we have to spend a bloody fortune on staying that way.  Not exactly fair because for men going grey it can often be seen as distinguished and attractive.  And let’s face it grey is so uninteresting – in fact the definition of grey is ‘without interest or character; dull and nondescript’. 

And there was no way I would want to be seen as old and dull. 

Almost as soon as I’d made these declarations, being committed to my dye-ing cause and maintaining my dark hair, my plan was interrupted.

My Hair, My Defining Feature

My hair has always been one of my most striking features – naturally curly, soft, bouncy, looks really thick but feels like dolls hair.  Its mostly been dark, except a teenage attempt of lightening it with Sun-in, resulting in a shade of bright orange – if you were a teenager in the 90s, there’s a high chance you had a similar result! And a few times in my 20’s, I added highlights for a bit of a change.  Dyeing hair can be quite fun and expressive.  But since my late 30s, it became more about hiding the signs of aging and I religiously trotted to the hairdresser every 4 weeks to sit there for an hour or 2 to have the greys/whites painted dark brown.

Cancer Interrupted the Plan!

So, when I was initially diagnosed with breast cancer and told I was likely to only face surgery and anti-hormone meds I breathed a sigh of relief – no chemo, no risk of hair loss. But, and I’ve learned this a lot, things change.   Thanks to a revolutionary test which can measure some women’s risk of recurrence, it transpired that the safest option for me would be to have a ‘short and relatively mild’ course of chemo, and that chemo would almost certainly result in hair loss.

At this point, I was more worried about losing my hair than what colour it was!!  And my goal became about doing anything I could to keep as much hair as possible.  I’d read about the cold cap (Paxman Scalp Cooling), another revolutionary thing – a system which cools your scalp whilst having chemotherapy and protects your hair follicles and reduces hair loss. I would try anything.  I did my research – watched videos, joined a facebook group – to learn anything I could to keep my hair. It was clear – no dye.  It could damage the follicle.  I found differing opinions about how long post-chemo I should refrain from hitting the bottle (of dye). I went with one of the more trusted opinions and decided to wait 12 months after treatment.

Growing into Grey

The good news, I probably only lost about 30% of my hair, not enough for anyone who didn’t know me to notice.  I had a bald patch which I neatly hid.  And I lost hair just above my ears where the cold cap couldn’t reach – it felt weird for a while, both when bald and then when it grew back.  As my hair continued to grow throughout treatment and beyond, the grey came through and I stuck to my plan – no dye. 

I wish I had documented the change with more photos.  The transition for me was not that awful, maybe helped by the fact I was dealing with bigger things. Things like hoping my hair just got thicker again, and the bald patch would disappear (not to mention the fact I had just finished cancer treatment). Or possibly it wasn’t as bad because of my curly hair – which meant I didn’t have a visible ring of contrasting hair as it grew out.

I’ll never know.

Embracing the Change

Now, here I am a few years on post-chemo and more than embracing my new grey look! Supported by several red lipsticks and a religious skin routine.  My hair is now a mix of light and dark. It’s grown thicker and stronger (another benefit of the cold cap).  I am often complemented. I feel naturally confident.  

So, whilst going grey was sort of chosen for me, I will choose to stay that way (although never say never!)