Perimenopause – that unique and highly unpredictable time when the female body decides to go haywire as it prepares to end the reproductive years. Periods happen out of the blue, emotional incontinence can be a regular thing and some weird physical symptoms occur. Think of it as a natural phase, but with a few surprise features!  This time can last 2 to 8 years.

YES – 2 – 8 YEARS!!!!  And remember it affects everyone in society!  And yet it still seems hard to diagnose….

The perimenopause is a mental, emotional and physical roller coaster!  It’s probably the most confusing and perplexing time.  It’s quite hard to pin down what’s happening to you when you start experiencing symptoms – it’s so easy to attribute them to other circumstances and just life in general.  For me, in hindsight, there were a number of signs, but I didn’t know perimenopause was a thing.  I just thought you went into menopause, periods stopped and maybe you had a bit of rage but I did not realise there was a preamble…..

Anxiety in the night, almost every night, which was perfectly timed with the realisation that I would be leaving my job of several years and starting a new one – a very anxiety-inducing life change, I thought. 

The weight gain, I was exercising 4-5 times a week, I wasn’t eating badly but was this to do with the fact I was out a lot, eating lovely food in wonderful restaurants and drinking plenty of cocktails? Probably! Or was it the lack of sleep due to my anxiety coupled with a long commute and early starts? Maybe it was a combination of everything.   

Visual migraines – where the heck did they come from? They came and went so I didn’t really think much more of them. 

The debilitating exhaustion and fatigue around the time of my period, again was that too many nights out catching up with me?

The lack of confidence and a more negative view point – that was the job, right?

Memory issues – thank god I made notes in every meeting! 

The burning mouth – well that sent me into a spiral of cutting out almost everything in my diet with the fear I had a candida issue.  A diet I referred to as the ‘no fun’ diet – no sugar, no dairy, no caffeine.  

Everything I have described above happened and every.single.thing I put down to some other aspect of my life.  I even went to a doctor about the mouth thing – she asked questions like did I have vaginal dryness or was I having hot flushes and were my periods still regular. At the time I thought ‘what has that got to do with my mouth?’ A lot it seems – but because I didn’t check the first 2 boxes (yes my periods were still regular and no I didn’t have a dry vagina) the issue with my mouth at that point was not considered hormonal. It resulted in unnecessary referrals to a specialist only to be told there was nothing wrong with me apart from burning mouth syndrome, which I now know is a slightly rare symptom of perimenopause.

I navigated through all of these hideous things – just dragging myself through life, feeling more than a little bit lacklustre.  Forcing myself to keep up the exercise, maintaining a strict diet and attempting to improve my sleep through aromatherapy, acupuncture and meditation.  I even started a journal to help with my mindset.

It all soon became clear – I was bloody perimenopausal.

I went on a mission to find out more about it and discovered Dr Louise Newson (or she discovered me on Instagram – haha!) and the Balance app.  I started tracking symptoms.  I joined a facebook group and learned more – good and bad but super insightful. I was shocked at the volume of women being dismissed by their GPs and refused HRT and was hugely saddened by stories of others who had not been aware of what was happening to them, resulting in their Midlife Interrupted. 

Armed with my new found knowledge, I eventually booked an appt with a Menopause Specialist Nurse at my GP clinic.  I almost expected a fight but was met with ‘I think you’re perimenopausal’ and an array of options which included HRT. 

Almost 4 years on, there is definitely more awareness but I remain astounded at the number of women who are possibly perimenopausal and either remain in denial, putting their symptoms down to a multitude of other things or who don’t get the help they need from healthcare professionals.

My tips….for anyone who could be perimenopausal 

      • Read the NICE guidelines for information on how perimenopause diagnosed – eg women over the age of 45 shouldn’t be diagnosed through a blood test because hormones change so much – it will not give a clear picture.

      • Explore HRT – if you had a vitamin D deficiency, you would take vitamin D so why not hormones when you have a hormonal deficiency (and yes, I’m aware its not suitable for everyone – even me at least for now – read more about my story).