I was sitting in my lovely home, recovering from surgery to remove a second breast cancer, and taking stock. It struck me: every plan I’d made had been derailed. My life, my Midlife Interrupted.
The first diagnosis, a year earlier, had blindsided me. But once active treatment ended, I threw myself straight back into full-time work, holidays, plans with friends – desperate to reclaim some kind of ‘normality.’ Twelve months later, I found myself in an even tougher place, facing a recurrence in the breast that had been removed (yes, it can happen even after a mastectomy!).
I had been determined to climb back to where I wanted to be in my career, beyond even. Just as this second diagnosis hit, I was applying for senior-level retail roles, set on powering ahead. My body had other plans.
I was forced to stop. To pause, at least. Midlife Interrupted.
Of course, it was stressful, worrying and frightening to have cancer again so quickly after treatment. I could have felt incredibly hard done by. But I made a choice not to fall into the “poor me” mindset. As Maya Angelou says, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them“.
Midlife Interrupted Moments – There Can Be a Few!
And as I reflected, I realised: for many people of a similar age, there comes a Midlife Interrupted moment.
Change in careers – either chosen or forced. Redundancy – which may make you question if you have skills or are employable as the world moves on. The challenges of perimenopause and menopause which throws your body and mind into turmoil, leaving you to question your health and worry that something is seriously wrong with you. Relationships breaking down – as people look at the fact their lives are quickly passing by, they can often question their happiness and who they want to spend their lives with. Children leaving home. Parents aging and needing more care. And then there are the actual serious health issues that pop up out of nowhere – like me and my breast cancer – and which make you realise how fragile life is.
My Strategies
So I started this blog. With the purpose of sharing strategies I’ve learned and am learning as I navigate Midlife Interrupted. Here are some which I hope can help others, like they’ve helped especially at times when everything feels hugely uncertain and scary:
01
Do something daily that makes you feel good.
When I was first diagnosed, I ran all the time to process the stress and fear. I still love a morning run but I now have a daily practice of gratitude journalling which helps kick start my day positively. I also note down at least one good thing that has happened at the end of each day.
Whether it’s exercise, mindfulness, reading, or being creative, routines can boost confidence and provide calm.
02
Balance Patience with Planning
I struggled with this. On the day I was diagnosed, caught in panic and racing ahead in my mind, my mum told me to “take one day at a time.” I snapped at her. How could I, when everything felt so frightening and out of control?
But, as mums often are, she was right. Patience was the best approach, taking everything step by step, day by day. At the same time, I realised that with all the hours off work, I needed structure. So I drew up a weekly timetable, almost like being back at school. It gave me purpose, helped me set mini-challenges – and even stopped me double or triple-booking myself!
That balance of patience and small, step-by-step plans helped me feel calmer, more grounded, and a little more in control of an uncontrollable world.
03
Social Support Is a Must
I’m lucky to have a wide circle of support (as well as my family) – childhood friends, friends who have grown up with me, party friends, colleagues turned confidantes and, more recently, friends I’ve met through cancer. Each one has helped me.
Research shows what I’ve lived: social support strengthens both mental health and physical recovery. So my advice? Lean on your people. Be open, be honest, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
And if you’re worried about burdening friends, seek support elsewhere – through groups, a coach, or a therapist. Midlife interruptions can feel isolating, but you don’t need to do it alone.
04
Be Kinder Than Kind (Especially to Yourself)
This one is simple to say and hard to do. Look after your body — eat well, move, rest, and sleep. Speak to yourself as kindly as you would a friend. Learn to pause when you need it. Learn to say no. Celebrate small wins.
As much as you can, fill your days with things that lift you up – a hobby, a new skill, time with people who give you energy. It doesn’t need to be grand. Sometimes kindness is as small as a walk in the sun. Whatever it looks like for you, prioritise it. Because being kind to yourself isn’t indulgent. It’s a necessity!
05
See the Pause as Possibility
Interruptions can feel brutal. It’s easy to get stuck in worry or negativity. But mindset matters – and sometimes, a pause can lead to the most wonderful, unexpected, positive things. It might not feel like it at the time…
For me, that pause, that interruption, gave me more time with friends and family. It gave me time to reflect, be creative, and to learn new skills (and brush up on old ones!). It gave me the spark to start this blog. It’s given me time to help others.
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. I still face difficult moments (menopause after cancer does not help!). But I try to look on the positive. Because every pause, however hard, however unexpected, holds the possibility of something new. An opportunity.
Its almost 3 years since my first cancer diagnosis. When my life interrupted for the first time, even though I hadn’t realised it. And what an amazing, unexpected, life changing 3 years its been.
Books that might help in those Midlife Interrupted moments
